Die Heart
Reviewed by Terry Morgan
Troubadour Theater Company
Through December 18
RECOMMENDED
There has been much discussion in recent years on social media concerning whether or not the 1998 film Die Hard qualifies as “a Christmas movie.” On the surface, the Bruce Willis actioner may not seem to be a good candidate for “holiday classic,” what with its brutal murders, hangings and cocaine abuse. Indeed, the “classics” are rather a motley bunch, including mutant reindeer, a near suicide off a bridge, a child’s malnourished Christmas tree and the vanishingly unlikely spectacle of a rich miser suddenly becoming empathetic. Here to answer this controversial question with a definitive yes, the Troubadour Theater Company’s Die Heart (Die Hard featuring the music of the band, Heart) is a hilarious adaptation of its source material that will make the holidays much brighter.
New York cop McClane (Matt Walker) has been separated from his wife Holly (Chelle Denton) for six months due to her taking a new job in Los Angeles. It’s Christmas Eve, and he’s flown out to meet her at her company office party in the big skyscraper in Nakatomi Plaza. Unfortunately, a gang of thieves pretending to be terrorists shortly take over the building, led by their sardonic mastermind, Hans (Rick Batalla). Using the empty spaces and ventilation ducts of the largely empty structure, McClane picks off the robbers one by one as Hans gets closer and closer to opening the vault and escaping with millions.
Walker is game and funny as McClane, resplendent in his muscle costume, tank top and giant bare feet ensemble, although he’s a bit more of the straight man amongst the rest of the broadly comedic cast this time. Denton has less to do in the plot as Holly, but she belts out the Heart songs as the vocal MVP of the show. Troubie veterans Beth Kennedy and Cloie Taylor are reliably great as various jerky authority figures and friendly cop Al, respectively, and a certain wintery character makes a welcome cameo. Philip McNiven does inspired work as hired thug Karl, constantly doing turns and leg extensions as the bulge in the crotch of his ballet tights expands alarmingly as the show progresses. Finally, Batalla is excellent as Hans, delivering a superb Alan Rickman impression and delightfully selling the parody of Heart’s “Barracuda” as “Hans Grubah!”
Walker has proved himself to be a clever director many times over the years, and he demonstrates it afresh in this production. His staging uses every nook and cranny of the space (including many Nerf machine gun battles sending flurries of projectiles flying across the stage), his pacing is swift but still has time for ambitious yet charmingly silly set pieces such as a fight that circles the entire theater. The music selection is likely the weakest point of this particular holiday special – Heart perhaps might not have as many recognizable hits for the audience – but it doesn’t matter as the Troubies can seemingly adapt anything into their shows.
If you’re the kind of person that wants to be encouraged to yell out, “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker,” with the rest of an audience, this may be the seasonal entertainment for you.
Colony Theatre, 555 N. Third St., Burbank; Thurs.-Fri. 8 pm; Sat. 4 & 8 pm; Sun. 5 & 7 pm; through December 18. https://www.troubie.com. Running time: two hours with one intermission.
